Strange Object Sighted Near Renaldi
We stopped
in Renaldi to lunch at a diner formerly owned by a boy band famous for falsetto
phrasing and, as one music critic said,
‘harmonies pleasing to Gods and Goddesses.’ The chef, Rose Pend, no relation to any band members, had recently achieved international acclaim as a defendant in
a law suit filed against her by her husband.
A
usually quiet hamlet of farm families and barnyard animals, Renaldi has been
turned southeast from northwest in an attempt by Wilson Pend—renowned
barrator who once sued a dog owner for refusing to leash his Labrador during a
fireworks display thus allowing the animal to instigate a brouhaha when a flock
of pigeons, intent on escaping what they had perceived as gun fire, crashed
through the stained glass window of a nearby chapel—recently, as early as
yesterday, sued for abandonment and loss of affection because another resident,
who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being implicated in the
certain-to-follow court action Pend would pursue, because his wife of forty
years had up and left before she’d heard
the cock crow a third time, or so this reporter inferred from the lengthy
speech offered by Pend at a subsequent hot dog roast, barbecue, and political
rally.
Frank Whatson, Pend’s attorney, refused
comment when asked by a reporter for the Happy Valley Sentinel as to his
client’s mate leaving home before sunrise. Later, Whatson confirmed that,
Marjorie Rose Pend, his client’s wife, had not returned home following a trip to Osaflora, the suburb of Renaldi where the alleged craft allegedly landed, to view what some claim is an extraterrestrial craft. Sitting atop a mound,
behind a picket fence, (see the accompanying illustration) a distinguished
object, appearing as a cottage with an antiquated television or internet
connection.
In his claim that cited his neighbor’s
herb gardener as a co-defendent, Pend claimed Roger Delahaunty, a former
prosecutor who had recently been disbarred for under reporting income to avoid
taxes, had invented the story and had constructed the pseudo craft to establish
a theme park from which he hoped to gain a sizable income to allay the pending
(no pun intended) bills from attorneys retained to defend against Pend’s
pending litigation.
